Whenever I put things here, I tend to take them (or mean them) seriously. Last year, while going through a very difficult time, I mentioned to a friend just how much I needed to feed my creative side. That was a serious need then, and it remains a serious need today. I’ve gone through some super tough things over the past 9 months or so, and not having the time to actually feed that creative need has mostly been tied to survival (y’ know….making $).
My job is not so bad. It’s not wonderful, but the stress is mostly manageable. However, my job (routinely speaking, of course) REALLY lacks a sense of immediacy in terms of results. My job is (mostly) a process-oriented job….it (can mostly take) YEARS to see the results of my efforts….and even those results are usually quite minor. I really super absolutely badly need to see some results in terms of my life/time/motions/words/thoughts/actions….and I COMPLETELY mean that. No, I’m not my job. Yes, I ‘asked’ my job to define who/what I was for FAR TOO VERY LONG, and I’m working super hard to get beyond that kind of garbage-based thinking. But, in terms of the hours I have in each day, AND the number of hours I have left on this Earth…..heck, realistically, I might have 10,500 days left (even that might be a teeny bit generous). I just really need to SEE the fruits of my labors/actions.
None of this should indicate that I’ve been up to nothing creatively over the past 30 years…….far from it, actually. But: I just need to see and record more. I’ve actually done quite a bit of citizen journalism over the past 8 years (in a wide variety of contexts/flavors) and that matter to me, it really does. God knows I have very little free time right now, but I still must press forward on this….I just have to. But I just need to see some stuff that I/others can put our hands on, y’know? So: I’m going to do that, and I’m going to try to document a bit of that along the way here……while still (largely) keeping my anonymity going here. Yep…..so, here ‘goes!
The above link leads to an article about Billy Wayne Cobble……a man currently incarcerated in a Texas prison. Mr. Coble is set to be the oldest man ever executed in the Texas penal system. But this post isn’t really about Mr. Coble’s execution……it’s about a psychiatrist who testified on behalf of the state many years ago. I’ll let you get into it, but I think (only from what little bit I’ve read) that the defense did an excellent job of trying to show that this psychiatrist was REALLY doing some janky crystal ball-gazing about how this man MIGHT act in the future. Apparently, the defense’s efforts weren’t good enough, but the good doctor predicted that the man WOULD BE VIOLENT at a later time even in prison (he wasn’t, but the way)….which contributed to him being re-sentenced to death after a 2nd swing at his penalty phase. Simply being a psychiatrist doesn’t automatically make you an expert, particularly on how someone MIGHT BEHAVE in prison at a later time.
So, the above game…..’Rush’…..uh, yeah: don’t waste your time. A jumping platformer. The gravity physics are a total mess. Nope, not worth the time AT ALL.
I love PC games…….always have. ‘Ludum Dare’ (I think its Latin) is a long-standing game jam. Typically, game creators are given a theme and they have 72 hours to create a game from scratch. I chose Ludum Dare #27 from August 2013 at random and I’m going to spend the next few days playing many of those submitted games and reviewing them here. Why? Because my ‘blog needs a bit of levity……things have been TOO SERIOUS around here lately! So, check back often.
I (mostly) try to be careful not to reveal too much about who I am (IRL) on this blog. I’m not sure I do a good job, but still, I try to be careful. My wife and I separated not too long ago…..just a few weeks, actually. I’d known about her wishes for about 2 months. Long story short: I had been struggling so very badly with loneliness and sadness for such a long time, and its reasonable to say she’d had some struggle too. I’ve been working on/getting help with my feelings for a while now and I feel MUCH better and I am working very hard on being more socially connected too (with real people and real relationships).
The link below leads to an AMAZING article on loneliness in these modern times….and I connected to it very strongly. Maybe, had I have read it a year ago, things might’ve been a little smoother……I doubt it would’ve ‘fixed’ our troubles, but y’know.