I (mostly) try to be careful not to reveal too much about who I am (IRL) on this blog. I’m not sure I do a good job, but still, I try to be careful. My wife and I separated not too long ago…..just a few weeks, actually. I’d known about her wishes for about 2 months. Long story short: I had been struggling so very badly with loneliness and sadness for such a long time, and its reasonable to say she’d had some struggle too. I’ve been working on/getting help with my feelings for a while now and I feel MUCH better and I am working very hard on being more socially connected too (with real people and real relationships).
The link below leads to an AMAZING article on loneliness in these modern times….and I connected to it very strongly. Maybe, had I have read it a year ago, things might’ve been a little smoother……I doubt it would’ve ‘fixed’ our troubles, but y’know.
I find it slightly ironic that the author of Peter Pan had this to say about life, given the fact that ‘Peter Pan Syndrome’ is a key part of our cultural jargon today:
‘The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it.’
I’m not completely sure what’s motivating me, in terms of making this post. I honestly think I’m growing deeply sick of Facebook. Its truly the embodiment of the ‘least common denominator’ in terms of intelligence (I know, that’s a snobby thing to say……..this is my blog and I don’t care). Not too many weeks back, I really felt like I was doing pretty well. I really got serious about doing some journaling/reading/working-on-myself stuff. That went along OK for a little while. But, I’ve had some very serious depression going on lately.
It seems that I can’t really get much of a handle on it. I have half-days that are OK. I even have 2-3 hour blocks that are OK. The early mornings and the late evenings, are VERY bad, though…….and I mean, bad. I am a MASTER NINJA at ‘You’re-OK-I’m-Not-OK’ thinking……and have been for a very long time……I’m fully aware of that flaw. But it just seems like LOADS of things are working great for people I know, but not for me. Thing, there’s the irony of: my life really ISN’T particularly horrible. Hmmmmm, I dunno. I’m just not in the mood right now.
Saw this article today at cnn.com I am a devout Christian. I’ll stop comfortably shy of ‘Bible Thumper’, because I just can’t cotton to people who switch off their brains on a routine basis……and Bible Thumpers like to call ‘Evolution’ STUPID! Hmmmmmm, like they bring something better to the table?! But, I digress…………
I admire this young woman and her mother. The thing I’ve always said about bringing religion into schools is: You’re fine with it as long as it’s YOUR religion. You can have a GREAT school, providing a great education for kids, and not endorse religion…….yes, it can happen! When I read this article, I can see the people (I was born not too terribly far from where this school is located)….using good old Jesus talk as a mean, awful weapon. Don’t misunderstand: I don’t think Christianity is always meant to be about holding hands and sharing jelly beans….but this young woman is going to this place to get an education. This is America. If she doesn’t believe in God or even if she simply doesn’t want ‘God’ (again, the Louisiana-flavored God) in her classroom……that’s fine…….heck, its better than fine! She shouldn’t have to put up with mean stares. She’s not going to churches, standing outside on Sunday morning giving mean stares to people as they leave church!
It hurts to see people who (allegedly) believe in the God you believe in behaving in such horrible ways. Please don’t lump all of us into the same pot…….that’s all I’m asking.
I work for a state agency in Texas. Our assistant commissioner for our agency likes to send out weekly bulletins. I like his writing, and I like him. He’s a smart guy. He also understands the ‘structure’ of governmental agencies, and how things can be slow to change…….even when you want them to hurry up! This is an excerpt from his bulletin sent this week…..I like it.
“Many of you know Cassini as the space probe launched in 1997 and arriving in orbit around Saturn in 2004. The pictures returned from this probe are amazing (just go on-line to view) along with the scientific data. The mission ended on September 15th of this year as the spacecraft coordinators sent Cassini into a final dive into Saturn’s atmosphere.
Aside from the incredible scientific and space exploration accomplishments, Cassini demonstrated a principle of patience. From launch to arrival at Saturn took 6 years/225 days, the mission itself lasted 19 years/335 days. An employee with NASA would’ve had to spend 20 years in the same area to participate in mission launch to mission completion (this does not include the frontend concept, design and build or post mission data analysis components of the accomplishment).
I note the above to raise and emphasize the advantages of patience, perseverance and time…….”
Cool restaurant in the making here………
At the moment, I’m a part-time graduate student. I’m FAR past my 40th birthday and grad. school was suppose to’ve been very much in my rear view mirror by now…….but I digress. I have a stable job, and except for a brief period a good while back, my employment situation has mostly been pretty stable as an adult. Anyway, a bunch of my coursework is built around Human Resources-related topics…….and right now, we’re talking about something known as ‘Need’ theory and ‘Expectancy’ theory……..these are old, stalwart parts of the world of human resources. So, I’ve been thinking about stuff like why we work and (you guessed it) what we hope or expect to get out of work, yada-yada-yada. It’s funny how, in big parts of our lives, we hope for ‘stable’ work and/or a ‘steady’ paycheck……that is, of course, a big thing for most people. I’ve been laughing, lately though, about how shortly after I get that very thing, I tend to gripe about how bored I am. Work is just so DARNED BORING sometimes. Weirder still, I’m not sure I’d even want the stress of a so-called ‘exciting’ job! I just rarely ever feel ANYTHING that I’d describe as exciting at work. It’s just a grind…….and for what?! I wouldn’t say I’m feeling depressed right now…..just laconic, really.