Allrighty….I just had to post this one: my daughter, who’s 8 years old says to my wife this morning, “Mommy, I can’t stop thinking about Christmas….I’m really excited about it! I’m having a fantasize about it!”

I thought that was worth noting!


Very first REAL post!

The first REAL post. Number one. Numero uno. This is the beginning of something great, I just know it. Don’t Ask Me I’m No Expert will become something great (oh crap, I already said great…some editor I am). I’ve wanted to publish a zine for well over a decade now and am only just now getting to it. But, this isn’t a ‘zine….it’s a blog. Yes, I read lots of blogs out there on the interweb.
So, what about the structure and focus of this blog? Let’s start out with the “won’ts”:

1. You’ll never read poetry in this blog. Never. Not the funny kind. Not the good kind. No kind of any kind. None. Zilch. Nada. Me, I’ve got nothing against poetry… just won’t be found here. Fiction? Oh yes….plenty of that, but no poetry. ………and I (probably) mean that.

2. No erotica/eroticism. Just not going there. Doesn’t mean you’ll never see some grown-up themes…..I’m just not doing a smut-mag.

3. (Probably) no extreme political rants, particularly about certain candidates. I may weigh in on some socio-political things, but you won’t hear, “This guy would be a good president ’cause he’s the most presidential guy who might ever preside over anything requiring precise presiding over.” Just not my style.

Other than that, everything is fair game and mean, everything. Things I think. Things I like. Things I don’t.
Art, fiction, news, hobbies, odd little past-times (like, maybe, collecting weird stuff and the people who collect it — and why — and how doing it has helped/hurt their lives), psychological issues, religion, America, family, work, industry, biographical stuff, interviews, recipes, craft projects, magic tricks, home improvement, organization techniques, nature, tourism/travel, social issues, philosophy, performing arts, things to do when you’re bored, humor, writing (and reading, of course), school/college and the entire American education system as a whole, the environment, TV and movies, music, marriage and all manner of other weird or eccentric little oddities that I find fit within the spirit of this periodical (I like that word……”blog” sounds like the name of a dead neanderthal).

Submissions from others are always welcome, but I make no formal guarantees regarding publishing dates/schedules/turn-around time. Submit anything you want (but a short little query would first be a nice gesture, wouldn’t it? – – – and no extreme violence/gore/nudity without a little forewarning) to:……..fear not, I’ve had that e-mail address for about 300 years and it ain’t going away!

Let the games begin!

First post!

For a long, long time…..I’ve wanted to publish a ‘zine.  I’ve actually been making plans to do exactly that starting this month. Even printed up the covers some time back……but I’ve been thinking lately:  “paper is pretty much out, man.”  And nevemind, if I did print up a print ‘zine, how many people would actually read it?  Seriously?! So, a blog seemed more apropos.  I’ve got lots of things I’m going to put up over the next few weeks that were going in the ‘zine but will now find there way here, to Don’t Ask Me I’m No Expert.